Sunday, September 10, 2006

i'm fatter than carnie wilson

i remember carnie used to hide behind the piano in the wilson phillips videos. i feel like maybe i should get a piano to walk around with. i'm feeling huge these days. at least i'm not as ginormous as gary busey's veneers. just saw a clip with him in it. jesus christ. if i knew how to add links i would go ahead and do so but for now you'll just have to google image his mouth to see the unfortunate, large-kernel corn on the cob he's got going under his lips. oooff.

carnie wilson and tina yothers are both smaller than me now. what the fuck is that shit? no offense carnie and tina. you both are my homies. big ups.

i've been feeling annoyed that all i write about is being a fatty but then i remembered that that is what the blog is about. so there you go. i guess it's the topic.

okay, i'm watching tina during her weigh in. that girl is starting to look like a little hottie. it's very exciting. i'm thrilled for my girl. go, tina, go! she's all inspired too. you can see she has energy to keep going. i know it's the first 10 lbs or so that are the hardest. but once you get past those guys it gets easier. you start looking all fly-girl and then actually want to get to the gym, not only to work out but to look cute on the treadmill and show off your new silhouette.

tonight's menu.

popcorn with BUTTER at the movies. (saw MOM, the movie that julie is in. she's awesome! and so is my friend emily.)
chicken souvlaki with rice and tzaziki.
salad with feta.
some more twizzlers.

did i mention that i'm fatter than carnie wilson?

that is not a pretty sentence.

oh. my. god. i have to talk about ted lange a.k.a your friendly bartender from the love boat, isaac. first of all he has lost a lot of weight. good for him, let's just get that out of the way. the thing that needs adressing is the fact that he is wearing a janet jackson circa 1995 choker necklace. second of all, ted is ALWAYS talking about his life in the sack. i can't tell you how not sexy i find him. i guess that's all i really have to say about him. it's the necklace. that's what i needed to talk about.

okay, let's discuss dr. ian. he is getting pretty pretty. i do believe he has been working out. and right now he is reading angie stone up and down like a book. poor angie-- but i'm not even getting into that. dr. ian, call me. i'm serious. i'll go on whatever diet you wanna put me on. i think i'm crushing hard. he's gone from a little boy smarty pants doctor to a grown man confident hotttt-ay. my, my. i'm having a reaction.

hmmm, well. i think on that note i will bid adieu. to yieu and yieu and yieu.

tina yothers always,


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